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The Holidays Remind Us That Grief Cannot Be Wished Away

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The holidays remind us that grief cannot be wished away

by Heather Servaty-Seib for The Conversation

The year-end holidays are a time of social gatherings, traditions and celebrations. They can also be a time of revisiting and reflection.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2.8 million people die each year in the U.S. If we conservatively estimate four or five grievers per death, there are 11 to 14 million people who are experiencing their first holiday season without the presence of an important person who has died.

No matter how long it has been since a family member or friend has died, the holiday season can understandably bring grief to the forefront of our minds. Lost loved ones are no longer physically present, and our rituals can remind us of their absence in poignant ways. And it can be challenging for others to know how best to comfort and offer support.

As a licensed psychologist and professor of counseling psychology, my clinical and research interests for the past 25 years have focused on death, dying, grief and loss. A primary goal of my work has been to “make death talkable.”

How do you speak of death at a time like this?

But how, you might ask, can death be talkable during the holidays? The general tendency within U.S. society is to avoid the topic. In the process, Americans tend to avoid not only our own grief, but also the grief of others.

My sense is that a good bit of this avoidance is connected to misunderstandings about the grieving process and problems with what society views as necessary, critical and “normal” for grief expression.

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s work with dying people, beginning in the mid-60s, was groundbreaking and facilitated increased conversations about death among health professionals, dying patients and their family members.

And yet the five stages that she observed in dying patients – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance – have taken on a life of their own. They have been applied well beyond the dying process, and have become a kind of prescription for grief – an unfolding that Kübler-Ross specifically warned against in her 1969 book.

When people focus on grief as a linear process with distinct stages and a clear endpoint, they are seeking to control and contain an aspect of life that is overwhelming, unpredictable and confusing. Although quite understandable, the attempt to put grief in a nice neat box has its costs. Most specifically, grieving individuals can begin to judge their own experiences, which can lead to just as much, if not more, pain than the grief itself.

A distinct experience

There are a few key points about grief that can make a tremendous difference for people during the holidays and beyond.

First, grief does not end. It is a reflection of attachment and love, and our connection with loved ones does not end when they die. Therefore, our grief will not and does not end. Grief is not a sickness to recover from, but rather an unfolding to experience.

Second, grief is not equal to sadness. In fact, it is not the same as emotions. Grief is multi-dimensional, and often incorporates emotional, cognitive, physiological, social and spiritual reactions. There is no indication in the literature that grievers must cry. Some grievers may be more emotional and social in their grief expression, while others may be more cognitive and physical.

Last, grief is unique to each person within their distinct familial, community and cultural contexts. Individuals will grieve based on who they are as people and based on the unique relationship they had with the person who died.

Those relationships can be quite dynamic and complex, and grief will reflect that complexity. It can often be challenging for family members and friends when they are grieving differently from one another. However, they are grieving different relationships with the loved one who died and their grief will then also be distinct.

The level of support to offer to a grieving friend often depends upon the level of closeness. Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock.com

Ways to bring comfort, if not actually joy

Contemporary theories expand far beyond stages to acknowledge the tasks of grief and the central nature of sense-making in the grieving process. For example: How do I integrate this death into my life story? Grief is not just about missing the person who died, but also about learning to live in a world where they are no longer physically present.

Developing a more nuanced understanding of the variability, adaptability, and unfolding nature of grief has encouraging implications for grievers and for those who seek to support them.

For grievers:

  • Resist societal messages that limit, compartmentalize and minimize your grief.
  • Observe your thoughts, feelings and actions, and honor the unique ways that you are expressing your grief.
  • Remember that rituals related to grief go beyond formal services, and that post-funeral rituals can take many forms. Allow for recognition of both separation and connection. Annual rituals, such as those that may be incorporated into the holidays, can become new traditions and opportunities for meaningful reflection.

For those who seek to offer support:

  • Acknowledge that grief does not end. Even brief messages of recognition and remembrance of their loss, regardless of the time since death, can be quite meaningful at the holidays and during other significant times.
  • Keep in mind your level of closeness. If you know the griever well, then you will have more sense of what they will view as helpful. Consider offering tangible assistance in terms of errands, tasks, or responsibilities that you know will be difficult for them. If you do not know them well, keep your responses more inline with that level of relationship, such as sending emails and cards, or donating to a cause.
  • Reflect on your own death anxiety and apprehension. Own it and then use it. Push through the common tendency to avoid those who are grieving and act on your thoughts of concern for them.

Remember that there is no set of words or phrases that will “fix” grief. It just does not work that way. What will make the difference is your presence and your willingness to reach out.

If it would help to consider specific statements, phrases that communicate presence and care, such as “I am here for you,” or “I care about what happens to you,” are more likely to be viewed as helpful than those focused on advice and forced cheerfulness, such as “You should keep busy,” or “Do not take it so hard.”

Heather Servaty-Seib is a Professor and Associate Dean of Counseling Psychology at Purdue University.

The Conversation publishes knowledge-based journalism that is responsible, ethical and supported by evidence from academics and researchers in order to inform public debate with facts, clarity and insight into society’s biggest problems.


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Now at Least 188 Virus Cases in WeHo and Surrounding Areas

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 Los Angeles County Announces Six New Deaths Related to 
2019 Novel Coronavirus (COVID-19) with 344 New Cases of Confirmed in Los Angeles County today.

LOS ANGELES – The Los Angeles County Department of Public Health (Public Health) has confirmed six new deaths and 344 new cases of 2019 Novel Coronavirus (COVID-19).  All of the five deaths reported yesterday occurred in people over the age of 60 who had underlying health conditions. Additional information regarding some of the new cases is pending further investigation. Over the last 48 hours, there have been 601 new cases.

West Hollywood is up to 50 cases. Beverly Hills has 21, Hollywood 38, Hollywood Hills 23, Melrose area 56. The County was previously reporting Park La Brea numbers but has made changes to the current report that does not include this at a distinct stat.

To date, Public Health has identified 1804 cases across all areas of LA County, including 32 deaths.  Upon further investigation, three cases reported earlier were not LA County residents. As of today, 398 positive cases (22% of positive cases) have been hospitalized.

On March 27, a Health Officer Order was issued to temporarily close all beaches and hiking trails throughout the entire County due to recent dramatic increases in COVID-19 cases, and increased usage of beaches and hiking trails by many groups of people.  It is imperative that everyone, collectively, take action to slow the spread of COVID-19. County and City Parks may remain open for passive recreational activities. Persons using the parks are required to practice social distancing at all times.  The Order will continue through April 19.

“We are sad to announce six additional deaths from COVID-19 today,” said Barbara Ferrer, PhD, MPH, MEd, Los Angeles County Public Health Director. “More than ever, it is crucial that we practice social distancing, and if we are sick, even with mild illness, we make every effort to self-isolate from others for at least 7 days.  Those who have been in close contact with a person who is positive for COVID-19 should self-quarantine for 14 days.   Please do your part to not infect others or become infected yourself by adhering to the public health directives and practicing social distancing whenever you do go outside. If we all commit ourselves to stay home, stay away from others when sick, and stay 6 feet apart when out, we will save lives. “

Public Health has issued the following guidance for people with mild illness during this time of increased spread:

  • If you are mildly sick, stay home for at least seven days and until 72 hours after being fever and symptom free. Call your doctor if you are concerned and/or your symptoms worsen. Individuals who are elderly, have underlying health conditions or pregnant should consider contacting their providers earlier when they are sick.

Additional things you can do to protect yourself, your family and your community are on the Public Health website, www.publichealth.lacounty.gov.

Please see the locations were cases have occurred:

Total Cases
Laboratory Confirmed Cases 1804
— Los Angeles County (excl. LB and Pas)1720*
— Long Beach75
— Pasadena9
Deaths32
— Los Angeles County (excl. LB and Pas)31
— Long Beach1
— Pasadena0
Age Group (Los Angeles County Cases Only-excl LB and Pas) 
–  0 to 1727
–  18 to 40674
–  41 to 65676
–  over 65343
Hospitalization 
–  Hospitalized (Ever)398
CITY / COMMUNITY** 
City of Agoura Hills9
City of Alhambra10
City of Arcadia8
City of Artesia
City of Avalon0
City of Azusa1
City of Baldwin Park0
City of Bell5
City of Bell Gardens1
City of Bellflower12
City of Beverly Hills21
City of Bradbury0
City of Burbank17
City of Calabasas10
City of Carson26
City of Cerritos1
City of Claremont1
City of Commerce0
City of Compton9
City of Covina3
City of Cudahy
City of Culver City7
City of Diamond Bar2
City of Downey18
City of Duarte
City of El Monte0
City of El Segundo
City of Gardena6
City of Glendale36
City of Glendora4
City of Hawaiian Gardens
City of Hawthorne11
City of Hermosa Beach
City of Hidden Hills0
City of Huntington Park2
City of Industry0
City of Inglewood14
City of Irwindale0
City of La Canada Flintridge7
City of La Habra Heights0
City of La Mirada6
City of La Puente2
City of La Verne1
City of Lakewood11
City of Lancaster19
City of Lawndale3
City of Lomita
City of Long Beach0
City of Lynwood13
City of Malibu
City of Manhattan Beach23
City of Maywood2
City of Monrovia4
City of Montebello3
City of Monterey Park5
City of Norwalk12
City of Palmdale6
City of Palos Verdes Estates14
City of Paramount5
City of Pasadena0
City of Pico Rivera5
City of Pomona4
City of Rancho Palos Verdes8
City of Redondo Beach24
City of Rolling Hills0
City of Rolling Hills Estates
City of Rosemead1
City of San Dimas2
City of San Fernando0
City of San Gabriel6
City of San Marino
City of Santa Clarita32
City of Santa Fe Springs0
City of Santa Monica38
City of Sierra Madre0
City of Signal Hill
City of South El Monte0
City of South Gate11
City of South Pasadena3
City of Temple City1
City of Torrance32
City of Vernon0
City of Walnut2
City of West Covina5
City of West Hollywood50
City of Westlake Village0
City of Whittier6
City of Los Angeles839
Los Angeles – Adams-Normandie
Los Angeles – Alsace
Los Angeles – Angeles National Forest0
Los Angeles – Angelino Heights0
Los Angeles – Arleta4
Los Angeles – Atwater Village
Los Angeles – Baldwin Hills7
Los Angeles – Bel Air8
Los Angeles – Beverly Crest17
Los Angeles – Beverlywood10
Los Angeles – Boyle Heights8
Los Angeles – Brentwood31
Los Angeles – Brookside0
Los Angeles – Cadillac-Corning0
Los Angeles – Canoga Park3
Los Angeles – Carthay9
Los Angeles – Central3
Los Angeles – Century City8
Los Angeles – Century Palms/Cove5
Los Angeles – Chatsworth4
Los Angeles – Cheviot Hills
Los Angeles – Chinatown0
Los Angeles – Cloverdale/Cochran
Los Angeles – Country Club Park
Los Angeles – Crenshaw District
Los Angeles – Crestview9
Los Angeles – Del Rey10
Los Angeles – Downtown9
Los Angeles – Eagle Rock8
Los Angeles – East Hollywood5
Los Angeles – Echo Park
Los Angeles – El Sereno1
Los Angeles – Elysian Park
Los Angeles – Elysian Valley
Los Angeles – Encino26
Los Angeles – Exposition0
Los Angeles – Exposition Park4
Los Angeles – Faircrest Heights0
Los Angeles – Figueroa Park Square0
Los Angeles – Florence-Firestone6
Los Angeles – Glassell Park7
Los Angeles – Gramercy Place
Los Angeles – Granada Hills8
Los Angeles – Green Meadows
Los Angeles – Hancock Park17
Los Angeles – Harbor City1
Los Angeles – Harbor Gateway4
Los Angeles – Harbor Pines0
Los Angeles – Harvard Heights
Los Angeles – Harvard Park2
Los Angeles – Highland Park6
Los Angeles – Historic Filipinotown0
Los Angeles – Hollywood38
Los Angeles – Hollywood Hills23
Los Angeles – Hyde Park2
Los Angeles – Jefferson Park0
Los Angeles – Koreatown10
Los Angeles – Lafayette Square
Los Angeles – Lake Balboa6
Los Angeles – Lakeview Terrace
Los Angeles – Leimert Park
Los Angeles – Lincoln Heights1
Los Angeles – Little Armenia0
Los Angeles – Little Bangladesh2
Los Angeles – Little Tokyo0
Los Angeles – Longwood0
Los Angeles – Los Feliz5
Los Angeles – Manchester Square
Los Angeles – Mandeville Canyon
Los Angeles – Mar Vista8
Los Angeles – Marina Peninsula
Los Angeles – Melrose56
Los Angeles – Mid-city8
Los Angeles – Miracle Mile8
Los Angeles – Mission Hills5
Los Angeles – Mt. Washington
Los Angeles – North Hills2
Los Angeles – North Hollywood26
Los Angeles – Northridge8
Los Angeles – Pacific Palisades11
Los Angeles – Pacoima3
Los Angeles – Palisades Highlands0
Los Angeles – Palms15
Los Angeles – Panorama City4
Los Angeles – Park La Brea
Los Angeles – Pico-Union4
Los Angeles – Playa Del Rey
Los Angeles – Playa Vista5
Los Angeles – Porter Ranch3
Los Angeles – Rancho Park
Los Angeles – Regent Square0
Los Angeles – Reseda11
Los Angeles – Reseda Ranch
Los Angeles – Reynier Village
Los Angeles – San Pedro9
Los Angeles – Shadow Hills
Los Angeles – Sherman Oaks25
Los Angeles – Silverlake14
Los Angeles – South Carthay5
Los Angeles – South Park4
Los Angeles – St Elmo Village0
Los Angeles – Studio City10
Los Angeles – Sun Valley5
Los Angeles – Sunland
Los Angeles – Sycamore Square0
Los Angeles – Sylmar8
Los Angeles – Tarzana19
Los Angeles – Temple-Beaudry5
Los Angeles – Thai Town
Los Angeles – Toluca Lake
Los Angeles – Toluca Terrace0
Los Angeles – Toluca Woods0
Los Angeles – Tujunga2
Los Angeles – University Hills0
Los Angeles – University Park5
Los Angeles – Valley Glen3
Los Angeles – Valley Village14
Los Angeles – Van Nuys6
Los Angeles – Venice13
Los Angeles – Vermont Knolls
Los Angeles – Vermont Square
Los Angeles – Vermont Vista3
Los Angeles – Vernon Central3
Los Angeles – Victoria Park
Los Angeles – View Heights0
Los Angeles – Watts1
Los Angeles – Wellington Square0
Los Angeles – West Adams7
Los Angeles – West Hills5
Los Angeles – West Los Angeles13
Los Angeles – West Vernon8
Los Angeles – Westchester12
Los Angeles – Westlake2
Los Angeles – Westwood17
Los Angeles – Wholesale District11
Los Angeles – Wilmington7
Los Angeles – Wilshire Center4
Los Angeles – Winnetka8
Los Angeles – Woodland Hills18
Unincorporated – Acton0
Unincorporated – Agua Dulce0
Unincorporated – Altadena10
Unincorporated – Anaverde0
Unincorporated – Angeles National Forest0
Unincorporated – Arcadia0
Unincorporated – Athens-Westmont7
Unincorporated – Athens Village0
Unincorporated – Avocado Heights0
Unincorporated – Azusa0
Unincorporated – Bandini Islands0
Unincorporated – Bassett0
Unincorporated – Bouquet Canyon0
Unincorporated – Bradbury0
Unincorporated – Canyon Country
Unincorporated – Castaic4
Unincorporated – Cerritos0
Unincorporated – Charter Oak0
Unincorporated – Claremont0
Unincorporated – Covina
Unincorporated – Covina (Charter Oak)0
Unincorporated – Del Aire0
Unincorporated – Del Rey0
Unincorporated – Del Sur0
Unincorporated – Desert View Highlands0
Unincorporated – Duarte0
Unincorporated – East Covina0
Unincorporated – East La Mirada0
Unincorporated – East Lancaster0
Unincorporated – East Los Angeles8
Unincorporated – East Pasadena0
Unincorporated – East Rancho Dominguez0
Unincorporated – East Whittier
Unincorporated – El Camino Village0
Unincorporated – El Monte0
Unincorporated – Elizabeth Lake0
Unincorporated – Florence-Firestone0
Unincorporated – Franklin Canyon0
Unincorporated – Glendora0
Unincorporated – Hacienda Heights2
Unincorporated – Harbor Gateway0
Unincorporated – Hawthorne
Unincorporated – Hi Vista0
Unincorporated – Kagel/Lopez Canyons0
Unincorporated – La Crescenta-Montrose0
Unincorporated – La Habra Heights0
Unincorporated – La Rambla
Unincorporated – La Verne
Unincorporated – Ladera Heights0
Unincorporated – Lake Hughes0
Unincorporated – Lake Los Angeles0
Unincorporated – Lake Manor0
Unincorporated – Lakewood0
Unincorporated – Lennox
Unincorporated – Leona Valley0
Unincorporated – Littlerock0
Unincorporated – Littlerock/Juniper Hills0
Unincorporated – Littlerock/Pearblossom0
Unincorporated – Llano0
Unincorporated – Long Beach0
Unincorporated – Lynwood0
Unincorporated – Marina del Rey
Unincorporated – Miracle Mile0
Unincorporated – Monrovia
Unincorporated – Newhall0
Unincorporated – North Lancaster0
Unincorporated – North Whittier0
Unincorporated – Northeast San Gabriel0
Unincorporated – Padua Hills0
Unincorporated – Palmdale0
Unincorporated – Palos Verdes Peninsula0
Unincorporated – Pearblossom/Llano0
Unincorporated – Pellissier Village0
Unincorporated – Placerita Canyon0
Unincorporated – Pomona0
Unincorporated – Quartz Hill0
Unincorporated – Rancho Dominguez0
Unincorporated – Roosevelt0
Unincorporated – Rosewood0
Unincorporated – Rosewood/East Gardena0
Unincorporated – Rosewood/West Rancho Dominguez0
Unincorporated – Rowland Heights1
Unincorporated – San Clemente Island0
Unincorporated – San Francisquito Canyon/Bouquet Canyon0
Unincorporated – San Jose Hills0
Unincorporated – San Pasqual0
Unincorporated – Sand Canyon0
Unincorporated – Santa Catalina Island0
Unincorporated – Santa Monica Mountains0
Unincorporated – Saugus0
Unincorporated – Saugus/Canyon Country0
Unincorporated – South Antelope Valley0
Unincorporated – South Edwards0
Unincorporated – South El Monte0
Unincorporated – South San Gabriel0
Unincorporated – South Whittier5
Unincorporated – Southeast Antelope Valley0
Unincorporated – Stevenson Ranch
Unincorporated – Sun Village0
Unincorporated – Sunrise Village0
Unincorporated – Twin Lakes/Oat Mountain0
Unincorporated – Universal City0
Unincorporated – Val Verde0
Unincorporated – Valencia
Unincorporated – Valinda
Unincorporated – View Park/Windsor Hills0
Unincorporated – Walnut0
Unincorporated – Walnut Park0
Unincorporated – West Antelope Valley0
Unincorporated – West Carson6
Unincorporated – West Chatsworth0
Unincorporated – West LA
Unincorporated – West Puente Valley0
Unincorporated – West Rancho Dominguez0
Unincorporated – West Whittier/Los Nietos0
Unincorporated – Westfield/Academy Hills0
Unincorporated – Westhills0
Unincorporated – White Fence Farms0
Unincorporated – Whittier0
Unincorporated – Whittier Narrows0
Unincorporated – Willowbrook1
Unincorporated – Wiseburn
–  Under Investigation154

 *These numbers are subject to change based on further investigation; three previously reported cases were not in Public Health’s jurisdiction.

 **– means that case numbers are suppressed (between 1 and 4 cases in communities <25,000 people).

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Health

More Than 100 Virus Cases To-Date in WeHo & Adjacent Areas; Youth Dies

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LOS ANGELES – The Los Angeles County Department of Public Health (Public Health) has confirmed three new deaths and 128 new cases of 2019 Novel Coronavirus (COVID-19). One individual was a youth under the age of 18, and two other individuals were between 50-70 years old.

There have now been over 100 reported cases in West Hollywood and adjacent areas. Today, West Hollywood added 8 cases to rise to a total of 31. Surrounding areas have risen to the following: Hollywood 19, Hollywood Hills 9, Beverly Hills 12, Melrose 26, Park La Brea 8.

Of the deaths, one of the individuals between 50-70 years old had underlying health conditions and resided in West Adams, the other is from a location that is still under investigation. The individual under the age of 18 resided in Lancaster. Because there are positive cases across the entire County, the public should not think one location is safer than the other. Additional information regarding some of the new cases is pending further investigation. Over the last 48 hours there have been 256 new cases.

To date, Public Health has identified 662 cases across all areas of LA County, including 11 deaths. This includes one new death reported by Long Beach yesterday.  Upon completion of investigations, two cases reported earlier were not LA County residents. As of today, 119 positive cases have been hospitalized.

Public Health is investigating all new cases and will notify close contacts who are household members, intimate partners and healthcare professionals to assess and monitor them for signs and symptoms of illness. All confirmed cases are being isolated and close contacts are quarantined.  It is critically important that everyone adheres to all the social distancing measures and practice good public health hygiene, including washing hands as frequently as possible.

“Each loss we experience in LA County is tragic, and we are sending our heartfelt condolences to the families and loved ones who’ve had to endure this tragedy,” said Barbara Ferrer, PhD, MPH, MEd, Los Angeles County Public Health Director. “COVID-19 does not discriminate by age, race or income level, and what we are seeing in places like New York is indicative of what we should prepare to experience here. While Public Health is doing everything possible to mitigate the impact of this disease in our community, we can only flatten the curve if EVERYONE takes social distancing seriously and adheres to all isolation and quarantine orders issued by our Health Officer.”

On March, 21 Public Health issued an enhanced Health Officer Order to reconcile elements in the March 19 Health Officer Order necessary to be consistent with the Governor’s Order.  The enhanced Order prohibits all gatherings and events, and clarifies that golf courses and personal grooming services (including hair and nail salons) are non-essential services that should remain closed.  The Order can be found online: http://publichealth.lacounty.gov/media/Coronavirus/

Public Health has issued the following guidance during this time of increased spread:

  • If you are mildly sick, stay home for at least seven days or until 72 hours after being fever free, whichever is longer. Call your doctor if you are concerned and/or your symptoms worsen. Individuals who are elderly, have underlying health conditions or pregnant should consider contacting their providers earlier when they are sick.

Public Health reminds LA County residents to do their part and adhere to the Order by always practicing social distancing.

Additional things you can do to protect yourself, your family and your community are on the Public Health website.

Please see the locations were cases have occurred:

Total Cases
Laboratory Confirmed Cases662
— Los Angeles County (excl. LB and Pas)635
— Long Beach21
— Pasadena6
Age Group (Los Angeles County Cases Only-excl LB and Pas) 
–  0 to 1710
–  18 to 40268
–  41 to 65250
–  over 65107
Hospitalization and Death 
–  Hospitalized (Ever)119
–  Deaths11
CITY / COMMUNITY** 
Agoura Hills3
Alhambra5
Altadena5
Arcadia4
Athens1
Baldwin Hills3
Bellflower3
Beverly Hills12
Beverlywood7
Boyle Heights5
Brentwood31
Burbank2
Calabasas4
Canoga Park2
Canyon Country1
Carson8
Castaic2
Century City6
Century Palms/Cove1
Cerritos2
Claremont1
Cloverdale/Cochran2
Compton1
Covina3
Crestview7
Culver City7
Del Rey3
Diamond Bar2
Downey1
Downtown3
Duarte1
Eagle Rock2
East Hollywood1
East Los Angeles3
Echo Park2
El Segundo2
Encino12
Exposition Park1
Florence1
Gardena1
Glendale10
Glendora1
Granada Hills5
Hancock Park7
Harbor Gateway1
Harvard Heights1
Hawthorne6
Highland Park1
Hollywood19
Hollywood Hills8
Hyde Park1
Inglewood5
Koreatown5
La Canada Flintridge2
La Mirada3
La Puente1
La Verne2
Lake Balboa2
Lakewood3
Lancaster8
Lawndale2
Lincoln Heights1
Lomita9
Los Feliz2
Lynwood2
Manhattan Beach11
Mar Vista6
Melrose26
Miracle Mile7
Monterey Park3
Mt. Washington1
North Hollywood10
Northridge2
Norwalk1
Pacific Palisades9
Palmdale2
Palms6
Paramount2
Park La Brea8
Pico1
Pico Rivera1
Playa Vista4
Porter Ranch1
Rancho Palos Verdes3
Redondo Beach7
Reseda4
San Dimas1
San Fernando2
San Gabriel1
San Pedro2
Santa Clarita7
Santa Monica16
Santa Monica Mountains2
Sherman Oaks10
Silverlake5
South El Monte1
South Gate1
South Park1
South Pasadena3
South Whittier2
Stevenson Ranch2
Studio City7
Sun Valley2
Sunland1
Sylmar1
Tarzana9
Temple1
Torrance5
Tujunga1
University Park1
Valley Glen9
Van Nuys4
Venice8
Vermont Knolls1
Vermont Vista3
Vernon Central1
Walnut1
West Adams3
West Covina1
West Hills4
West Hollywood31
West Los Angeles4
West Vernon4
Westchester3
Westlake1
Westwood6
Whittier3
Wholesale District1
Willowbrook1
Wilmington4
Wilshire Center1
Winnetka2
Woodland Hills8
–  Under Investigation62

  *These numbers are subject to change based on further investigation; two previously reported cases were not in  Public Health’s jurisdiction.

 **Locations that were less <25000 have been added to the nearest city or community.

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NYC Health Dept.’s Sex Tips Amid Coronavirus, No Orgies

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NYC Health Dept.'s Sex Tips Amid Coronavirus, No Orgies

NEW YORK (TMZ) — The Big Apple doesn’t want its residents banging like rabbits during the coronavirus outbreak — so it’s got a set of strict (and graphically specific) guidelines on how to get it on during these contagious times.

The NYC Health Department posted recommendations over the weekend on how folks can have sex, while keeping the risk of catching COVID-19 low. For starters, they say sex with another person probably isn’t a good idea right now … so, they suggest masturbating.

Read the Document

If you are going to have sex with someone else, they have recommendations on who to bang first. The department says if you must, sleep with someone you live with, and try NOT to screw anyone outside the household if you can help. They also say limit the number of partners you’re hooking up with … which probably means no orgies either. Aw, man!

The most graphic suggestions come in the form of rim jobs (anus to mouth contact) and oral sex too. They say don’t eat ass right now — it probably ain’t safe — and if you’re gonna get slurped up by a partner … use a condom or a dental dam to reduce saliva swapping.

The Health Dept. also notes … if your partner’s not feeling well, skip the sex. And, for all the online daters, keep the interaction there for now too. What a time to be alive!

Tune in to TMZ on TV weekdays Monday through Friday (check syndicated/local listings)

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